I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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