Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
