he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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