just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
