I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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