wat bout pragnant strippers??
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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