What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
