Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
just tell him i said nine months
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
