Too much gin, very little bucket
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
