Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
