I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
All I want is dick and wine.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize