so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize