Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
