Do you still have your period?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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