Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
