I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
