I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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