You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
