i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize