Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
