their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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