That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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