I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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