Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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