When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
one might say we're banned from that church
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
