Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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