If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
