In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
