I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
