its not stalking. its research.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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