I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I can't turn off my feet"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
