so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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