he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
