Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
