dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
