He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
