she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
