How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
