he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
