It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
