i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
