Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
