Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
