Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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