ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
