Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
