I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
