wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Pooping to opera.
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