i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
