I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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