It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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