high people should be assigned attendants
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
