You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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