David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
