I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
