What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
